Alyssa Scott shared a heartbreaking tribute to her and Nick Cannon’s late son, Zen, who died of brain cancer on Sunday at 5 months old.
Scott posted an emotional video montage on Instagram on Wednesday that featured footage of Zen from when he was born up until some of his final moments on a beach with his parents.
“Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here,” she began her post.
“I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening.”
Scott described how Zen kept her going over the last five months, calling the time they spent together a “race.”
“We would hand the baton off to each other. You kept me going. It would be the middle of the night and you would smile at me,” she shared. “A surge of energy would fill my body and pure joy would radiate from within me. We were a team, both determined to see it through.”
The 28-year-old model described her grief as “unbearable” but is leaning on her daughter and others to help carry her through it.
“It feels unbearable running without you now. I can’t. And in this moment I feel myself being carried. By your sister.. By God. By complete strangers encouraging me to not give up,” she ended her tribute.
“It has been an honor and privilege being your mommy.. I will love you for eternity. 6•23•21 – 12•5•21.”
Cannon, 41, tearfully announced on his eponymous talk show on Tuesday that Zen had died after secretly battling a brain tumor. He defended his immediate return to work as a distraction from the devastation.
The “Masked Singer” host is also dad to 10-year-old twins Moroccan and Monroe with ex-wife Mariah Carey, 4-year-old son Golden and 1-year-old daughter Powerful with Brittany Bell and 5-month-old twins Zion and Zillion with Abby De La Rosa.